


POI Addams family crossover fics

by whomii2



Series: POI crossovers [11]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2017-11-27 09:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whomii2/pseuds/whomii2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harold was adopted into an unusual family [series of one-shot stories]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Homeward Bound

** Finch POV **

He had hoped to never be in this situation again, although given their activities it was probably a vain hope. He winced as he sped over a bump in the road and glanced at his partner, worried what the jostling would do to his ribs, and hoping that the seat belt would keep pressure on the bandage over the stab wound in his side. His eyes then went to his rear view mirror to check on the status of their pursuers. He had been lucky to get John away, as the odds had been too great even for someone with Reese’s undeniable skills. But the getaway hadn’t been unobserved and the others were doggedly following their frantic flight. While Harold had some contingencies for John being injured, none of them included fending off an attack. He couldn’t even seek out Carter or Fusco, as they would be unlikely to hold off the gang if John had failed. So Finch had fallen back on his last resort, seeking sanctuary in the same place he had after Nathan’s loss--amongst his family.

His mother had remarried when Harold was still young, although even at that age he was already different: a shy genius with poor social skills. While his father’s family hadn’t quite known what to do with him, his new family embraced him with open arms. A group of oddities, they easily fit his own oddness into their mix. Harold had been accepted as himself as he had been few times since; even Nathan had at times encouraged Harold to bend himself to be a little more sociable. His step family, exuberant as they were, would never ask anyone to change to more easily fit in. And while their play could at times be rather rough and seemingly cruel, Harold knew that they were fierce in defense of their own. But his love of technology and computers had finally lured Harold away, as his new family tended to have little time for such pursuits.

At last he saw the old house where he had spent much of his childhood coming into view, and he was glad when the iron gates swung open to welcome him in. John would be alright, they would see to that. And woe betide those who threatened them.

** Reese POV **

He came awake slowly, looking around the dimly lit room and trying to place his surroundings. The pain from his many injuries was blunted but his mind was still sharp - he would have to find out what Harold had given him that didn’t produce the usual fuzziness of most painkillers. Remembering their dire situation, he glanced around worriedly. He relaxed his tense muscles when he spotted Harold slouched in a chair by his bed, a large book folded open in his lap. He smiled inwardly and cleared his throat to wake Finch up, surmising that their situation must have improved if Finch was unconcerned enough to let sleep overtake him. Finch snorted awake, carefully placing his book on the bedside table and wincing as he straightened into his usual stiff posture. He leaned toward John, looking him over critically before softly asking “Water?” 

“Yes, please.” John happily swallowed the cool liquid from the glass Harold held to his lips, and refrained from protesting when Finch fussed and fluffed the pillows behind him. He knew it was Harold’s way of letting off tension. Settling back against his plumped up pillows and still not able to make out much in the darkened room, John asked “Where are we?” and was surprised when Finch replied “Home, John. Well, my home. .Although it has been many years since I have been here.” 

“But Finch, your family…” 

“Are certainly able to deal with the situation.” As if to punctuate this comment, John was alarmed to hear dull screams and the sound of gunfire from outside. He moved to get up, but in his current state was easily pushed back against his pillows. 

“Don’t worry, John” 

“But our attackers?” 

“Are getting what they deserve” Finch grinned a toothy smile as he murmured 

"sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc”  


**Grandmama POV**

She was rarely called upon for healing potions. Still, a little change and a little challenge were good from time to time. Young Harold was good at providing her that. He had been a somewhat sickly child, and she had been forced to be creative in trying to find something that would suit his picky palate. He was such a finicky eater. But he was also the one who most appreciated her skills. Her more boisterous kin might know all the deadly poisons, but they didn’t have the patience for the more time-consuming spells and potions. They tended toward the immediate gratification of destruction, whereas creation took more time. Time, and care, and the careful layering of one effort over another. While the other Addamses naturally attracted attention, Harold preferred the shadows, a quiet observer of his more flamboyant adopted family. Harold also loved to watch her create her spells and potions, fascinated by how the various components interacted to yield the desired result. With his meticulous nature he would have made a fine sorcerer or alchemist, if his desires hadn’t led him to other pursuits. Just look at what he had created - a golem of captured lightning, to gather knowledge and divine the future. He was a great wizard in his chosen field, and she was proud of what he had accomplished.

**Gangmember POV**

This should be easy. The guy in a suit had been impressive, but in the end had been overwhelmed by their numbers. Given the damage he had taken, it should be a simple matter to subdue him now. And the cripple who had whisked him out from under their noses would hardly present much of a challenge. More like a bit of fun to toy with after. Still, an injured and cornered animal is always more dangerous, which is why they had waited to gather the full strength of the gang to arrive when their quarry had finally gone to ground. The old house seemed abandoned, its ample grounds unkempt and overgrown. It seemed secluded enough that no one would interrupt their fun. Each of the gang members filed through the metal gates one by one, fanning out to encircle the house and prevent their prey from escaping. Taking his designated position he approached slowly, crouched down and expecting possible gunfire. Hearing a rustle in the tall grass he turned, only to see the member nearest him go down with a soft whump. Brandishing his gun but seeing no target, he looked around wildly only to see more of his compatriots falling to the ground. And then the screaming began. Unnerved, he ran back toward the gates which had at some point swung shut, firing wildly and cursing the enemy he couldn’t see but which seemed to be taking out his gang. The gates remained immovable under his frantic pulling, and the thought occurred to him that they were not so much for keeping people out as locking people in. He heard a sound behind him and turned…. 

　

　　

_*[We gladly feast on those who would subdue us]_


	2. Odd Man Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reese recuperates with Harold's step family

John wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he became aware of his surroundings. He was in a sparsely furnished room with a rather muted and monochromatic color scheme. He relaxed when he saw evidence of Finch’s presence in the Jacket draped over the chair next to the bed and the book placed on the seat. Finch had shown himself capable in a similar situation before, so John could assume for the moment that wherever they were they were safe. His suppositions were proved correct when Finch entered the room carrying a steaming mug. He carefully hobbled over to place the mug on the bedside table. He helped John into a sitting position and passed him the mug. It had a bitter taste (some sort of herbal tea?). But the aches and pains John had become aware of started to fade quickly.

Feeling better and more alert, John began to take a closer look at his surroundings. He eyed the trophy on the wall and wondered if he was seeing things - a swordfish swallowing a leg? Certainly different from the quite elegance he had begun to associate with Finch. But it probably explained the lamp, after all most legs come in pairs. What sort of fun house had Finch brought them to?

　

Following Finch’s explanation as to their whereabouts, John wondered at the suspicious absence of Finch‘s adopted family. He grumbled to Finch that he would be on his best behavior and promised not to embarrass Harold or scare Harold’s family. Finch muttered “that’s not what I am worried about”

　

John sat bolt upright when he heard the first explosion. He started to struggle out of bed while rummaging through the nightstand for his gun. “John, John, calm down, its alright. They’re just playing golf.” “With live grenades?” “You would have to admit it makes the sport much more exciting” “John thought that yes, the ratings on the PGA tour would definitely go up if they introduced exploding ammo. Best not to mention that innovation.

　

John stared at Finch defiantly. He’d been lying around too long. He was ready to be up and about even if Finch disagreed. Unfortunately for John, Finch had called in reinforcements. Looking up up up at Lurch looming behind Harold in the hallway, John turned around and stumbled back to his bed before he suffered the indignity of being scooped up and carried. He didn’t want to tempt Finch into applying the restraints he had seen affixed to the bed (Harold had already shown he was willing and able for much less cause)

　

Finch had called in reinforcements again. John flushed scarlet, trying to disappear into the mattress as Morticia and Grandmamma made a rather intense examination of his various wounds and injuries. John resolved not to protest Finch’s mother-henning in the future, as the man clearly wasn’t above playing dirty.

　

John gave up on Fester as a lost cause. He was too much of a traditionalist and too attached to his sticks of dynamite, even though C4 was much more portable and could be more readily shaped for different size explosions. Though John was secretly impressed with the precision Fester could get with a tossed stick of dynamite. It was lucky Fester seemed to have a magic way with the old-fashioned explosive, considering how careless he was in handling it (an Addam’s family trait--total blasé about dangerous things)

　

At dinner John watched Finch closely, making sure to stick to only the foodstuffs he was eating. Any suspicious portions he fed to the plant, which ate it up rather literally (John had to watch his fingers).

　

Finch found John staring into a room filled with various instruments of torture. After a moment of silence John cleared his throat and asked “So, is Gomez or Fester a collector?” “Oh no. This is the children’s playroom.”  
(John pouted silently. And Finch kicked up a fuss over John‘s small cache of spare weapons in the library?)

　

On a gloomy overcast day the family decided to have a picnic. As the blankets were spread over a few graves in the cemetery, John hoped nervously that they weren’t expecting some other relatives to join them.

　

John found Gomez and Harold in the drawing room, ensconced in matching wingback chairs and reading sections from the paper. From time to time Gomez would exclaim loudly over something he read, while Harold would mutter “Hmmmm.” John cleared his throat to get their attention. Gomez looked up and broke into a huge smile, gesticulating with his cigar as he said “morning John”. Finch put down his paper and looked John over intently from head to toe, assessing his level of fitness. As John surveyed the two of them in their well-made suits, much snappier than John’s own rather monochromatic wardrobe, he figured this was where Finch got his fashion sense.

　

Grandmamma snorted over John’s questions about spells. “For wealth you’d do better to seek an alchemist instead of a witch. As for love potions, most are false. It is a difficult potion to master. But highly prized, as love forms the simplest yet strongest binding magic.”

　

It was odd that John found himself able to sleep more deeply in Finch’s family home with all its odd goings on than he had in many of his own bolt holes. But he was awakened one night by a crash of thunder. His gloomy room was briefly lit by a flash of lighting, followed by more thunder and lightning from a fierce storm. Visions of Frankenstein dancing in his head, John hoped Finch was safely tucked in bed and that he and his family weren’t up to something.

　

As a parting gift Gomez offered John a gleaming antique dagger. Finch intercepted the implement before John could accept it and began to wipe it on his handkerchief. “John finds it more challenging to avoid the use of poison.” Finch explained. “Ah, a sportsman!”


	3. Finch POV ficlet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short Finch POV during John's recuperation in Odd Man Out

Finch was gripped by a feeling of nostalgia as he stood at his old bedroom window, sipping a cup of tea and looking out over the family property. 

A small smile quirked at his lips as he thought back on the little anecdote of his youth he had shared with Detective Carter. Although it had been “cousins” rather than “brothers” who had given him his swimming lesson (his relationship to the Addams family would have been difficult to explain). 

And of course, he had omitted any mention of the alligators.


	4. Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thing comes to visit

Finch was once again too close to an explosion, but this time he sprained his wrist in the fall. Thing was invited to come help out - it could type surprisingly fast one-handed.

Fusco ambled into the library, wondering just what Reese had been up to as the man had been more secretive than usual recently. He was soon flailing about emitting stifled screams as Thing, startled awake from a sound sleep, emulated one of the creatures from Alien and fastened himself onto Fusco’s face.

Carter figured she wasn’t surprised by anything the guys got up to anymore. She just raised an eyebrow when she found Finch playing chess with a severed hand, which was perched atop a small stack of books for a better view of the board. If only John could be so well mannered, it would make her life less stressful.

Reese needed to really sell his undercover identity as a bad guy. Elias’ new goons accepted him without too many questions when they opened his bag and saw Thing playing possum. As John settled in to play cards with the thugs, Thing tied all their shoelaces together under the table before sneaking off to liberate Carter and Fusco. The four of them were easily able to subdue the hapless bad guys (unlike Finch, Thing was a master of the “poke ‘em in the eye” maneuver). The only awkward moment came after the battle was over when Fusco attempted to high-five his diminutive rescuer and nearly batted him out the window.


	5. Full of Woe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday comes to visit

Finch was surprised that Wednesday had chosen to visit them in the city. But he shook his head in resignation when he saw how she was staring at John. A dangerous man with a dark past and an old-fashioned sense of chivalry, not to mention a penchant for mayhem--of course Wednesday would find Reese intriguing. Finch hoped she would grow out of her crush. He was glad that John hadn’t been introduced to some of the more mature female Addamses: they would have eaten John alive (figuratively, Finch hoped)

**********

Wednesday seemed rather disappointed when John explained he had only kneecapped the bad guys. Surprised at the young girl’s blood lust, Carter smacked John “You’re a bad influence!”

**********  
Looking over Wednesday’s simple attire and seeming unfamiliarity with Finch‘s computer, Fusco asked “is she amish?”

**********  
Finch was livid “I told you to move your weapons after what happened with Leila!” 

“That’s a little hypocritical” John protested “I saw her play with much worse back at her place. Uncle Fester‘s dynamite for one” 

“My point exactly!” Finch huffed .

Thinking of what Wednesday might get up to with even a simple smoke grenade, John hustled off to secure his arsenal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title from line of poem:   
> Wednesday's child is full of woe


	6. He's It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cousin It causes some confusion

John was curious when he overheard Finch’s call and all he could make out on the other end was high pitched squeaky gibberish. 

“Was that the machine?”

“No, just my Cousin It”

John’s suspicions about Finch’s truthfulness were laid to rest after meeting the relative in question when he accompanied Lurch to the city to pick up Thing. John now knew who to send undercover the next time their number was a hairdresser.


	7. Girl Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morticia stops by for a chat

Carter entered the library, surprised to find Finch’s Aunt Morticia reclining regally in one of the chairs. “Detective, please come join me” she said as she gestured to a nearby chair, her politeness not quite masking the order.

Carter sat, unsure what to make of the other woman as she continued to speak:

“I had a small errand in town and I thought I would just stop by to check in on our lads. They get into so much trouble but then, boys will be boys.”

Carter smiled uncertainly, glad that Taylor was unlikely to get into the kinds of things Finch and Reese got up to.

“We were so glad to finally meet John. Harold had told us so much about him in his correspondence. We were quite distressed when he wrote us a while back that John had been shot and nearly killed. But you would know all about that, wouldn’t you dear” and she smiled at Carter like a panther deciding if it was going to pounce. Carter shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. It was rather like the cold unfathomable stare Finch had worn at their first meeting after the shooting. A stare that promised unspeakable things while the speaker maintained a cool façade. Carter had been threatened by some of the worst during her time in the army and on the police force, but those bad guys could learn a thing or two from the unspoken menace hidden behind the polite gentility of Finch’s Aunt.

Fortunately the tension was broken when Fusco bustled into the room, carrying a delicate teacup carefully in his hands. “Here you are ma’am. It’s from the boss’s private stock - I hope you like it." 

“I am sure I will, our Harold has such excellent taste. Sadly, I must be leaving shortly as I have another appointment. But you must join us for dinner, Lionel.” She smiled fondly as the detective left, remarking “Such a dear boy. He reminds me of my son Pugsly.“ Carter ignored the insult in her lack of invitation. She got the message loud and clear - her relationship with Finch might have improved since the incident with the Snow, but she was still on probation with his aunt.

*******************

Root found her latest target relaxing in the hotel bar. It was easy to get herself invited to join her at her table for drinks and conversation. Sipping her club soda while trying to think of an opening gambit to keep the target distracted while she poisoned her Bloody Mary, she was surprised when the other started “Under other circumstances I would be quite impressed with what you have accomplished, especially in what has traditionally been such a male-dominated field. We have a number of friends in the business. But I am afraid you have caused Harold and his John quite considerable distress, and that I simply cannot tolerate. So I copied your little stratagem to draw you out. . It is a pity we didn’t meet under other circumstances, but family comes first.”

Root found herself unable to reply, her throat tight and her tongue leaden. She began to feel a tingling sensation in her extremities and her vision began to blur. The other woman continued “I believe poison is one of your specialties, so I thought it only fitting. It is an old family recipe.”

As Root’s vision dimmed she heard “I really must be leaving now. I am taking the boys out to dinner. We have something to celebrate.”

Then everything went black.


	8. Babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Addamses get a houseguest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 in 10 challenge fic #5

It just wasn’t in Carter's nature to abandon someone to be killed, even a mob boss like Elias. The problem after rescuing him from his fate was---what to do with him now? He certainly couldn’t be left alone, but finding someone to watch him could present a problem. With HR so embedded in the NYPD it was difficult to know who could be trusted.

Harold's unusual family might just be the answer. Certainly no one would think to look for Elias at the Addam's house.

Elias was a bit bemused when first introduced to Harold's family. The energetic man in the nice suit was a clear influence on Harold's own sartorial style. The elegant woman in black was able to pull off the goth look despite her age. The bald uncle could have been a long lost twin. But the tall stack of hair in a bowler hat was unexpected. (Elias was a bit envious of those long flowing locks)

Hearing out Carter's request, the Addamses were only too happy to oblige. They were particularly delighted when they learned Elias had worked for a number of years as a teacher. They had found it increasingly difficult to find and retain a tutor for Wednesday and Pugsly.

Carter shuddered when she thought about Elias influencing impressionable young minds, but had to admit there was little damage he could do in this particular case.

Indeed, the children and their new captive tutor hit it off famously. Elias was pleased to have such eager and like-minded students, and would have to admit to missing the opportunity to teach just a little.

He also found new chess partners in Thing and Gomez Adams, both of whom presented a challenge with their unorthodox play styles. Thing in particular was a master of the psychological intimidation that often played a part in matches.

Carter found Elias' quick integration into the Addams family a bit disturbing. She was glad she had faith in Finch's moral compass despite his often questionable methods. If Finch and Elias should move from chess buddies to adopted siblings the world could be in trouble.


	9. Zoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe meets some of the Addamses

Harold's aunt was visiting the city. When their work with the current number heated up Zoe, who had been called in to provide some political insight, volunteered to take the woman out for a while so the others could wrap things up. She had to admit to being curious about the reticent Harold's family, especially after some of the things she had heard from the others. And she did like to be in the know.

Sharing tea with the elegant Morticia, Zoe found it easy to see where Finch got his impeccable manners. She was pleased and flattered when Morticia offered the services of her own chauffeur when Zoe lamented the problems she was having with her car company. 

Lurch was the best driver Zoe had ever had (John excepted for special circumstances). There was no annoying chit chat or unwanted flirting, and his silent looming presence was even more intimidating that Reese's was. As a bonus, he was able to replace the burnt out bulb in her foyer without needing a ladder!


	10. Shaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaw wants to know Harold better... (set shortly after she first meets them and they rescue her)

Call her suspicious by nature, but recent events had made Shaw even more paranoid than usual. She was unwilling to take John at his word as to the good intentions of Finch, the man who had created the Machine.

So she skulked and snooped around the library, but was unable to find anything about the man's true history. Only a series of false identities. When she learned that Finch would be heading home to check up on things she thought this would be the perfect chance to find out about his past.

She was surprised when she followed him to a large old house with a worn out appearance and an extensive but rather overgrown lawn. She hadn't thought that he had spotted her following him, but decided on a little reconnaiscance just in case she was being lured into an ambush.

She could vaguely hear the sounds of conversation drifting out the open window after Finch entered the house. Her momentary distraction as she tried to make out the words was her downfall, as the next thing she knew a snare had tightened around her ankle and she found herself being dragged through the dirt and weeds to end up suspended from a tree. She took out her knife and bent up to start sawing away at the stout rope when she heard a rustling in the grass. Looking down she found herself the object of scrutiny of two young children. The pudgy boy in the striped shirt smiled at her shyly. In contrast the goth-looking girl with pigtails gave Shaw an unfriendly stare. She scowled even more when she caught sight of the knife in Shaw's hand, muttering “I knew we should have used the bear traps.” 

Having been caught more or less red handed, Shaw finished releasing herself and then marched into the house with the children to fess up to Harold.

Finch didn't seem all that surprised to see her there. He merely gave an exasperated sigh before fussing over her to make sure she was OK and then inviting her to join them for tea. As punishment for her rude intrusion, Harold insisted that afterwards she entertain the children so that he could enjoy a little chess with their tutor.

Shaw found play time to be a rather eye-opening experience. Who knew babysitting could be so much fun!


	11. Pit Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has to babysit. It doesn't go well....

Carter surveyed the smoking ruin with a scowl on her face.

Pugsley had been entranced by the flames, but now that the firefighters had gotten the blaze under control he was happily munching away on a candy bar and enjoying the aftermath. Wednesday as usual looked bored and sullen, although John could have sworn that she had smiled slightly when the first fireball went up. Now she was back to looking at them all like they were all insects beneath her notice. No, like they were something lower than insects - Wednesday was actually rather fond of bugs.

Carter's gaze shifted to where the EMTs had finished loading the traumatized clerk into the second ambulance, and then she turned to glare at John. Reese was trying to look blasé but was showing hints of both defiance and guilt. How had it all gone so wrong? It had seemed like a simple enough task. The adult Addamses were going out of town to celebrate the funeral of a distant relation. Finch was also attending, so the problem had arisen: what to do with the children?

Normally they would have been left with Elias, who was still doing penance for trying to kill Carter by acting as the children's in-home tutor. But Elias had undergone recent dental surgery and wasn't up to the task. Instead he was recovering under Anthony's watchful care.

As there was no current active Number, Reese had been volunteered to keep an eye on the children until Finch returned, since Harold would only be attending the service itself and would not be staying for all of the festivities. So Reese had driven out to the Addams' family house, picked up the children, and was driving them back to the city when Pugsley had informed him of an urgent need for a restroom. Not sure that the boy could wait until they made it to the Library, Reese had pulled over at a small gas station & minimart for a quick bathroom break.

Of course Pugsley had managed to wheedle Reese into buying him some snacks and soda while they were there. Pugsley really was a rather sweet and happy child, despite his siblings repeated attempts to kill him during play time. Wednesday for her part had just stood around looking as if she wished she were attending their funeral.

Then the robber made his move.

Reese had tried to keep his response to the situation low key because the children were present. Stupid Stupid Stupid. He had forgotten just who he was dealing with.

The young Addamses assumed from John's lack of violent response that he needed their help. Things had quickly escalated until the entire establishment was ablaze. Reese should have just kneecapped the jerk when he first pulled a knife and demanded the money from the register. Kneecapping would have been easier on the perpetrator anyway. On the bright side, Reese was pretty sure that the whole experience had effectively deterred the man from any future plans for a life of crime.

Carter looked unimpressed with John's recitation of the chain of events (and his attempt to shift the blame to his young charges). Fusco laughed and exclaimed "Cheer up Carter! After all, it could have been Shaw babysitting." Reese was glad for both the distraction and the vote of confidence. He had been a bit dismayed to realize that overall he was a poorer choice of child-care provider than a ruthless mob boss.

Carter leveled a glare at all of them and stalked off to the car for some aspirin before she succumbed to the urge to do some kneecapping herself.

Fusco smirked at John and said "Don't let Carter's attitude get to you. I would worry more about what **Finch** is gonna do when you tell him what happened."

Reese paled at the thought. There might be another funeral in the near future.


End file.
